Living In Australia

 

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Paul Chong                                                                   Thursday, 14 December 2017

 

In a word, living in Australia is great . . . “a lucky country” in the downunder world, geographically speaking that is. Everything else is top of the world . . . rich in natural resources, largest continental island in the world, beautiful weather with sun, surf & sand for fun lovers, good first class education, opportunities for one & all in a truly cosmopolitan nation. Most importantly, fairness is practised in true meritocratic way.

I am a Chinese by descent . . . an Australian by consent. My family & I have been in Perth, Western Australia since 1982, that is more than quarter of my life. It is indeed a fortunate life with my three offsprings all acquiring tertiary education from a PhD holder, a specialist medical doctor to a civil engineer.

Though born & bred in Malaysia, I could never consider myself a Malaysian because of the non meritocratic system of extreme corrupt government since independence from British colonial rule. Every non Malay race is marginalised in all aspects of human endeavour & life. Needless for me to go into any detail of the ongoing unfairness & injustice upon looking back & looking in from outside. There’s no meritocracy but sheer  “democrazy”. Brain drain from the country is no surprise. What’s Malaysia’s loss is gain to countries like Singapore, Australia, US, UK & Canada.

Everyone wants & deserves a good life, but not to expect & demand on hand-outs, for that would be tantamounting to living on your knees rather than dying on your feet. You’ve got to work, not only working hard but working smart as well. Work is God’s design for our natural living.

In Australia the aged are well taken of. Medical care can be said to be par excellence. All possible help are extended to make life of the aged comfortable & safe. Under the scheme known as Home & Community Care (HACC), there are organisations offering facilities to take good care of you, especially as the song goes “When you grow too old to dream, you’d have them to remember”.

Really, old people can keep on living in their own home, best place to be, rather than to scale down moving to units or aged homes, unless it is absolutely necessary. If you are living alone, Red Cross provides visitor service whereby a visitor would come by on a regular basis to keep you company, have a chat with you, have tea or a game of card, or take you out shopping or medical appointments. Other organisations also provide such a service & other home services as well like domestic cleaning, minor home maintenance, gardening.

There’s that Triple A Care (Australian Asian Aged Care Program) with multiple home & community care services. Charges for the services are subsidised & all that is required is $8 per hour.

TADWA’s (Technology Assisting Disability WA) purpose is to improve the quality & enjoyment of life for people with disabilities, older people & those caring for them through the application of technology & the skills of volunteers & staff. For our home, they came & installed safety railings for our steep driveway, front & back garden steps. All we need pay pay is for the materials.

In the case of Chorus (its old name Volunteer Task Force) apart from providing gardening service & other domestic services, organises outings to places of interest & lunches. I am particularly impressed by their friendliness,helpfulness with extreme care & attention.`The staff & the team of volunteers are about the nicest people you will ever meet. A stranger is but a friend you have not met. You can have hundreds of friends`but none near you or ever in sight, you might just as well be by yourself.

Old habits die hard. Nothing like living the life you are so accustomed to`. . . free & easy to be living in your own home.`A man’s home is his castle, however modest or otherwise.`

In the final analysis, I wish the best for all Malaysians. I would further add by quoting what the DAP leader Lim Kit Siang said: ” If we love Malaysia, we must unite as Malaysian patriots to save Malaysia from corruption, kleptocracy, injustices, exploitation and the fate of a third-world nation”.““““`“““““““““

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Amazing Ginger

Zinger

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Ginger, a natural herbal food, is described as a hot fragrant spice made from the rhizome of a plant. It is chopped or powdered for cooking, preserved in syrup, or candied. It’s a Southeast Asian plant, which resembles bamboo in appearance, from which this rhizome is taken. & it’s a light reddish-yellow in colour. (On the human aspect, it means spirit or mettle : such as he had more ginger than her first husband.)

  • Amazingly, it’s packed with health benefits. But don’t just rely on hearsay, get the facts.

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Tulips Galore @ Rose Heritage Garden, Carmel

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Yesterday was a beautiful day, despite intermittent showers & cold wind. We went for lunch with Raymond & Hazel at the Rose Heritage Garden in Carmel, Kalamunda.

Hazel is profoundly in love with beautiful flowers & we had hope to see roses in bloom there. Instead to our utter surprise, a sea of beautiful tulips greeted our unbelieving eyes. Tulips of different hues, vibrant colours welcoming us & other visitors in all their glorious splendour.

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I was so enraptured that my trigger-happy fingers went on clicking my digital camera non-stop. Hungry stomachs were momentarily forgotten. In the absence of blooming roses, for which the place is famous, tulips greeted us with even greater glory & colourful splendour.

People living in Kalamunda don’t have to go to Araluen to catch the tulip show every Spring, now that this is at our door step!

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Winter shower has seen its last day, for Spring is now in the air. Lovers of nature & those young at hearts can delight themselves feasting their eyes with inexpensive delicious lunches or be there at the Rose heritage Garden in Carmel for afternoon tea or coffee.

Have  a wonderful day today!

Happy Father’s Day

Australians celebrate this day on the First Sunday of September each year.

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Beware of Plumbers . . . especially so-called Master Plumbers!

 Be very careful when dealing with self-proclaimed master plumbers, electricians or master tilers who glorify themselves with advertisements such as this:

IMG_4453  Best advertisement is still by word of mouth!

If you are dissatisfied with their performance or disservice, you have absolutely no recourse to pursue your claims & complaints. From my own personal experiences, I found their professional associations most protective of their own, the consumer affairs department would want you to first negotiate with them and settle the dispute among yourselves and further telling you straight that they are not in a position to compel them to abide by any decision reached. So where does the poor consumer stand? He stands to being fully exploited, slaughtered left & right. If you are a senior or pensioner, you are even more fair game. It’s cheaper to consult a doctor or lawyer!

I was most unfairly & unjustly charged for a Rinnai B20 continuous flow hot water system – a hefty frightful total of $3,282.50 . . . all well within the warranty period of one year (10 September 2012 till 4 April 2013). The cost of Rinnai B20 is just $949.00 the rest go towards enriching the plumber!

The Scales of Injustice
The Scales of Injustice (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once money is in hand, expect no further courtesy from them. Emails and phone calls get no response. It’s all your own fault! They well ignore you  most unprofessionally & against all business conduct & code of ethics shift the responsibilities to their fellow rivalries. 

Goodwill & reputation are built up over time, but for a misguided CEO all it takes is a bit of dirt to wipe clean the slate of time.

One-time slaughter is not the game to be, Goodwill & customer care will forever be.

For your perusal, all correspondences & photographic evidences are available & will be inserted later.

You be the judge & jury.

Spread the word & protect yourself against all forms of exploitation & injustice.

Our Lawn Is Forever Lush & Green

Our lawn is forever lush & green

Come spring, summer, winter or fall

It fills our eyes & beckons us with its call

Beholding it as though it’s always spring!

The green is lush, fresh & beautiful to behold . . . changing not with the seasons. It’s tolerant of heat & rain without pain of due care & attention. It’s virtually free of maintenance, saving you both energy & water, fertilisers or mowing. No need to worry about winter weeds or fighting against its vigorous summer growth. In fact, it remains perpetually young & beautiful . . . could be that longevity & perpetual youth are not impossible after all!

Let’s hear directly from the horse’s mouth:

Unlike the well-known variety of Winter Green, Santa Ana, Kikuyu or Matilda Buffalo which take years to establish with lots of care & attention, you can install & establish me virtually over night. Like your faithful mate, I will stay that way for years to come giving you much joy & pleasure. No betrayal, no let down, just how reliable can I be.

Shade or sun I remain consistent giving you fun. Apart from its tolerance of heat & shade, water or drought, I feature less so even with wear & tear.

Just don’t be unduly upset when the team of workmen comes to establish me on your ground. They come with the machinery & equipment, bobcat & compactor, loads of cracker dust with me in two rolled up format in the trailer. They dIg up the ground, level it, remove all unwanted rocks or stones, fill the ground up with cracker dust, level it & compact the ground upon which I shall lay for years to come.  Your heart might ache when your rose plants have to be relocated. It’s like blowing up a dust storm before calm sets in.

Slowly & surely I make my appearance & with a twinkle I am established with landscaping & lots of black mulch for the roses & plants to further enhance my good looks.

When you think of the years ahead that you’ll be enjoying the pleasure of such a mate, the cost of establishing me as your front lawn or backyard, or as putting green becomes a very affordable project. My young neighbour looked over the fence & said, “I’m beginning to get sick cutting the lawn.”

When thinking of going my way in installing your everlasting green front lawn, go for Westregent Pty Ltd & rest assured of qualitative & quantitative service. Before engaging them, I rang up 4 or 5 other companies for quotes. All promised to come to my place to measure up the requirements & to give me their prices. Only one showed up, took the measurement & promised to call back with the quote the very next day. He never did. I rang up the manager who told me that his man was unwell & would personally look into the matter. I waited for a service that never materialised. A satisfied customer is your best advertisement!.

They came highly recommended by my friend Max.

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Contact

0417 911 456

I” may be artificial

But “I” am not superficial

In every way “I” am genuine & special

Fulfilling your both leisure & pleasure.

Filial Piety

The photos and video of Ting Tsu-chi carrying his mother to the hospital have gone viral. (Internet photo)

Filial piety has become a hot issue in Taiwan, according to a Staff reporter on 2012-03-06, after video of a middle-aged man carrying his frail mother into the Chi Mei Hospital went viral, touching hearts all over the country. Now people want to know more about the man in the video.

But what’s FILIAL PIETY in today’s age?

”Filial piety” is deeply embraced in ancient Chinese culture, teachings and philosophy.

It’s Confucianism.

Here’s sharing an article written by Dr Chris Anthony . . .

 

This is no sermon nor a nag ; it’s a very simple message. The article below was written by Dr. Chris Anthony . To those of you who still have their parents living , I like to share this good piece of regret that I had not read it earlier during the days when both my parents were still alive.

Read on ……

The time is now.

It is better to give them a little time now than to give them the world when they are gone. The world is full of sons and daughters like you and I.

I had a marvellous mother, who loved me, sacrificed for me and helped me in every way possible. In all of my growing up from childhood through school and eventually marriage, my mother was always at my side.

And when I needed help with my little ones, she was there for me. A few years ago, we buried this wonderful woman.Can you imagine how I felt when I returned home and found a poem in her drawer, written by my mom:

      The time is now

        If you are ever going to love

           Love me now while I can know

             The sweet and tender feelings

                Which from true affection flow                

Love me now while I am living

                      Do not wait until I am gone

                         And then have it chiseled in marble

                           Sweet words on ice-cold stone

                              If you have tender thoughts of me

                                 Please let me know now

                                   If you wait until I am sleeping

                                     There will be death between us

                                        And I will not hear you then

                                       So if you love me, even a little bit

                                          Let me know while I am living

                                                  So that I can treasure it

                                                            Your loving mum

Now she is gone and I am sick with guilt.

Because I never told her what she meant to me.

Worse yet, I did not treat her as she deserved to be treated.

I found time for everyone and everything else But I never made time for her.

It would have been easy to drop in for a cup of tea And a hug but my friends came first.

Would any of them have done for me what my mother did?

I know the answer.

When I called mom on the phone,

I was always in a hurry.

I feel ashamed when I think of the times I cut her off,

The times I retorted back to her,

The times I glared at her in an angry mood when she wanted to correct me and guide me through the correct path.

I remember too, the times I could have included her in a trip out ,but did not.

My children loved Grandma from the times they were babies.

They often turn to her for comfort and advice.

She understood them.

I realize now that I was too critical,

Too short-tempered, too stingy with praise.

Grandma gave them unconditional love.

The world is filled with sons, daughters and a child like me.

I hope they see themselves in this letter and realize from it.

If this has touched you, please pass it on to all the sons and Daughters who have to praise their Mom for everything they are today.

Modern Day Family

Reflections

This story highlights that we must do whatever we can when our parents are alive to appreciate what we say or do, however little that may be.

Very often we are willing to spend thousands to give them a grand funeral with the most elaborate preparations and expensive coffins and so on. We are willing have memorials without fail year after year. We give alms in memory of our late parents but we could not afford to spend some time with them when they were with us before their death.

We were too busy with our lives.

How much do we treasure our parents? They may not be perfect but it is undeniable that they deserve more than what we are doing for them now.

We may be cruel to them or we may even be criminals but to our parents we are still good children and they continue to justify why have we become bad. They blame everybody else for their children being bad except them as they believe their children cannot have gone bad by themselves.

Nobody in the world does that. Many will flock to us when we are in a position to give but none when we are down and out. Our parents are the only ones who will be there with us and for us whether we are good or bad, up or down till their last breaths.

Let us search our hearts to see where we have placed our parents in it. If they are not in our hearts it is time to make a place for them there now. If they already there as in many of us, it is time to give them a little more. Let us not do something or fail to do it that we will regret later as it will be too late.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Filial piety is the duty that every Mother’s son or daughter , towards his / her parents. You can have many wives , husbands , mistresses , lovers , friends ; but you only have One biological Mother , Father. If you are a priviledged child with a Nanny , then the Nanny deserves your filial piety because she was the one who groomed you in your childhood years.

It is no use to spend lots of money for your parents’ funeral becos they are not able to cherish what you do ; the lavish funeral rites or expensive coffin that you spend on them ONLY BENEFIT the funeral caretakers ; nobody bothers how much you spend on your parents when they are dead. You may be magnanimous to donate money to charity in memorium of your parents …… who cares !!!

Hence , if you wanna to spend money on your parents , do it when they are still alive and able to appreciate and cherish your love.

They Suckle Like Babies . . . But Fish Is No Baby!

By P Chong                                                                               Thursday, 25 August 2011

Feeding a child is difficult as it is

What about feeding an animal?

This must be the craziest of all things

Having Feeding Bottle Sucking Fish!

You have heard of people bottle feeding the bear, a monkey, a tiger or lion cub . . . but a fish?

You have to take your hat off to the Chinese. They cross breed Koi with   some Amazon fish and produce this feeding bottle sucking fish.

They start training them to take bottle feedings at 1 year old. By 2 they are on exhibition in places like parks etc. It is such a novelty . . . almost like magic!

 Each feeding bottle is sold for RMB10. Most parents and young couples are happy to pay to feed the fish.

It is claimed that they suckle like babies and are very cute.

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I wonder what else they’ll teach the fish to suck next!!!

Source:

Xinhuanews

Photos: CNS

Oregano – The Herbal Cure For Cough

Oregano with Pinky Flowers

From the Editors of ‘Bottom Line Health’ in the edition of “Uncommon Cures for Everyday Ailments I came across these lines:

“The herb Oregano can be a powerful cough soother. Make as tea with a teaspoon of dried Oregano steeped in a cup of hot water. Strain before sipping. You may drink up to three cups a day during a cold or coughing spell.”

Ref: http://www.BottomLineinternational.com

The warm, balsamic and aromatic flavour of oregano makes it the perfect addition to Mediterranean and Mexican cuisines. This popular herb whose name means “mountain joy” is available throughout the year.

Oregano is known botanically as Oreganum vulgare and is called wild marjoram in many parts of Europe since it is closely related to the herb that we know as sweet marjoram. It is a small shrub with multi-branched stems covered with small greyish-green oval leaves and small white or pink flowers. In Mediterranean climates oregano grows as a perennial plant, but in the harsher climates of North America, they grow as annuals. It’s a good ground-cover too.

Culinary oregano is a signature flavour of many Italian, Mexican and Spanish dishes. Most cooks are familiar with it in its dried form, but oregano is a hardy perennial plant that is easy to grow in the home garden. A handful of plants will provide you with enough oregano to use fresh in season and to dry for use throughout the winter.

Oregano seems like a straightforward enough herb. Anyone who has tasted a tomato-sauce-topped pizza can recall its flavour, which is hearty and assertive with a peppery bite and a zing. Yet once you take a closer look at oregano, things get a little confusing.

Many plants are loosely classified as oregano. Their flavour depends largely on where they’re cultivated; in general the hotter the sun, the stronger the flavour. To add to the confusion, some reference books call oregano “wild marjoram,” and many recipes suggest that the two herbs, both members of the mint family, are interchangeable. In fact, there are so many varieties of oregano that rather than thinking of oregano as a specific plant, one ought to think of it as a particular flavour.

Fortunately (or not, depending on how you look at it), when you buy fresh oregano, you’re rarely given a choice of variety. For much of the year, most stores sell Greek oregano, which is what the largest herb suppliers offer. But depending on the season and the availability of Greek oregano, you might instead find Mexican oregano, or some other variety. Though the flavours of these oreganos may be a little more or less intense (Mexican is usually stronger) they can be used interchangeably, so there’s no need to bring your botany book along to the grocery store.

An Oregano by Any Other Name, Would Not Taste as Sweet.

Asparagus – A Nutritional Guide


It is interesting to note that there are old beliefs that asparagus could increase feelings of compassion and love, promote fertility, reduce menstrual cramping, and increase milk production in nursing mothers. In some countries they are also used as an aphrodisiac.

Nutritional values for 100 g

USDA Nutrient Database for Standard Reference, Release 13 (November 1999)

Nutrients Units Asparagus cooked
Water g 92
Energy kcal 24
Protein g 2.6
Total lipid (fat) g 0.3
Carbohydrate g 4.2
Fiber, total dietary g 1.6
Minerals
Calcium mg 20
Iron mg 0.7
Magnesium mg 10
Phosphorus mg 54
Potassium mg 160
Sodium mg 11
Zinc mg 0.4
Copper mg 0.1
Manganese mg 0.1
Selenium mcg 1.7
Vitamins
Vitamin C mg 11
B-1 (thiamin) mg 0.1
B-2 (riboflavin) mg 0.1
B-3 (niacin) mg 1
B-5 (pantothenic acid) mg 0.15
B-6 (pyridoxine) mg 0.1
Folate mcg 146
B-12 mcg 0
Vitamin A I.U 539
Vitamin A mcg RE 54
Vitamin E mcg ATE 0.4
Lipids
Fatty acids, saturated g 0.07
Fatty acids, monounsaturated g 0.01
Fatty acids, polyunsaturated g 0.136
Linoleic acid (18:2) g 0.129
Alpha-linolenic acid (18:3) g 0.007
Cholesterol mg 0

Asparagus, high in potassium, great for fibre, low in salt, and a terrific, healthy vegetable to grow, is a member of the lily family, which also includes onions, leeks and garlic.
They have been cultivated for more than 2000 years in South of Europe.There is nothing nicer than growing your own crop and taking it fresh to the table. It’s a perennial and it lives for up to 30 years.

Many people have never seen Asparagus growing but it is dead easy. Asparagus likes deep, friable, rich soil. If you’ve got heavy, clay soil, you’ll need to mound the plants up or dig in plenty of organic matter so that it becomes nice and well drained. They love soil with a pH of about 6.5 to 7. Dig a deep trench, about 75cm, for the long roots – the deeper the better. Then add organic matter.

Asparagus is very hungry and needs plenty of organic matter such as cow manure, sheep manure, or old chook poo. Scatter it thickly down the bottom of the trench because they will absolutely lap that up.

Health benefits
 – Asparagus are poor in calories and loaded with vitamins and minerals. They are a good source of folic acid, vitamin A, B vitamins and vitamin C.
They are also a fair source of calcium and fiber.
100 g of asparagus provide only 24 calories. The same amount provides 146 mg of vitamin B9 that is 1/3 of our recommended daily allowances.
Vitamin B9 is particularly important for pregnant women since not enough of it can cause the birth of a baby with spina bifida.

Asparagus have detoxifying and diuretic effects. Their fibers help us clean out our gastrointestinal tract. They also help the body get rid of the excess water.
Asparagus also contains the phytochemical glutathione, which has antioxidant and anticarcinogenic properties.

Some people notice a strong urine odor after eating asparagus. Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called a mercaptan which when broken down releases a funny scent.
The odor will disappear when the asparagus is completely digested and absorbed.

It has been reported by the US National Cancer Institute, that asparagus is the highest tested food containing glutathione, which is considered one of the body’s most potent anticarcinogens and antioxidants.

Several years ago, a man seeking asparagus for a friend who had cancer showed a photocopied copy of an article entitled, “Asparagus For Cancer” printed in Cancer News Journal, December 1979.

A number of favourable case histories are listed here:

Case No. 1 – A man with an almost hopeless case of Hodgkin’s disease (cancer of the lymph glands) who was completely incapacitated. Within 1 year of starting the asparagus therapy, his doctors were unable to detect any signs of cancer, and he was back on a schedule of strenuous exercise.

Case No. 2 – A successful businessman 68 years old who suffered from cancer of the bladder for 16 years. After years of medical treatments, including radiation without improvement, he went on asparagus. Within 3 months, examinations revealed that his bladder tumor had disappeared and that his kidneys were normal.

Case No. 3 – A man who had lung cancer. On March 5th 1971, he was put on the operating table where they found lung cancer so widely spread that it was inoperable. The surgeon sewed him up and declared his case hopeless. On April 5th he heard about the Asparagus therapy and immediately started taking it. By August, x-ray pictures revealed that all signs of the cancer had disappeared. . He is back at his regular business routine.

Case No. 4 – A woman who was troubled for a number of years with skin cancer. She finally developed different skin cancers which were diagnosed by the acting specialist as advanced. Within 3 months after starting on asparagus, her skin specialist said that her skin looked fine and no more skin lesions. This woman reported that the asparagus therapy also cured her kidney disease, which started in 1949. She had over 10 operations for kidney stones, and was receiving government disability payments for an inoperable, terminal, kidney condition.. She attributes the cure of this kidney trouble entirely to the asparagus.

Don’t be surprised at this result, as `The elements of materia medica’, edited in 1854 by a Professor at the University of Pennsylvania , stated that asparagus was used as a popular remedy for kidney stones. He even referred to experiments, in 1739, on the power of asparagus in dissolving stones. Note the dates!

We would have other case histories but the medical establishment has interfered with our obtaining some of the records. I am therefore appealing to readers to spread this good news and help us to gather a large number of case histories that will overwhelm the medical skeptics about this unbelievably simple and natural remedy.

For the treatment, asparagus should be cooked before using, and therefore canned asparagus is just as good as fresh.

To good health & happiness!

Paul Chong

A Chinese by Descent

An Australian by Consent

The Chinese Tradition of Marriage

By P Chong                                                                               Sat. 4 September 2010

The Chinese Character for Double Happiness

There are three events in life that the Chinese really celebrate:

  • marriage celebration
  • the birth of a child (full moon celebration)
  • Spring Festival (Chinese New Year)
  • Birthday celebrations are not a norm, except the landmark ages of 60, 70, 80 & all that . . . Celebration on the negative side will be in the event of “untimely” demise of the dear departed including Qingming Festival (All Souls’Day).

Red is Auspicious

Without order chaos exists. Even mechanical things work on a system, from a simple clock to the planetary system of the universe. If any part of the system should break down, the whole mechanism stops to function.

By the same token, it is true to say of the human society. It can only function properly with a system or order, otherwise chaos will prevail. This is a verified truism as exemplified by the way Chinese society is structured & conducted with particular reference to the question of marriage, which reflects the great importance attached to the concept of the family unit. The way the Chinese address their nation as their “national family” bespeaks the significance of the basic family as its core. Thus the way the individuals conduct themselves can make or break the hierarchy.

There is much to be said about arranged marriages in those days. Whatever your modern misgivings with ideals of love & romance, these marriages did come with problematic packages. The go-in-between and both the in-laws first investigated all details of the young man and lady in respect of compatibility with particular reference to their “animals” of birth, as whether it’s the year of the rat, cow, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat monkey, chicken dog and pig. It’s astrology of an unique kind. The West would refer it as consulting the stars. There is much truth in that the characteristics of the personality do spell out clearly by the animal year of birth. Taking such precautionary steps avoid the pitfalls of marriage.

Talking of surprised or problematic packages in marriages, brings me to mind of a fictional story. It could well be true beyond your wildest imagination . . . it’s so funny, ridiculous & amazingly laughable.

This is seriously Funny . . .

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said: “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.”

“A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my stepmother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.”

Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son. But he was also the son of my wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grand-son. That made me the grand-father of my half-brother.”

This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother. This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife, I am my stepmother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew, and I AM MY OWN GRANDFATHER!”

And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!”

Moral: Order prevails, otherwise chaos assails.