Good Personal Relationship in Marriages

Good Personal Relationship in Marriages

W020080215323536711575A Traditional Chinese Wedding


In this modern era of health consciousness, we talk of

good Cholesterol & bad Cholesterol, vitamin C & others.

In marriages, it helps to look into the “Cs” for good personal relationship.


Apart from the few Cs as mentioned above, what other Cs come to your mind that you might consider as important? Of course, we all need the great C as in Cash for our daily survival or to live in comfort & luxury. But that’s not the be all & end all of things. You’ll find that the richest of men are not necessarily the happiest. They are more than likely to have problems of greater magnitude than the less fortunate.


I believe Singapore girls, when selecting a partner or contemplating marriage, purportedly take into consideration these Five Cs – Cash, Condominium, Car, Career and Character. Modern Singapore is so full of slogans, and more recently I heard that the Five Cs have given way to Five Bs – Bachelor, Bank Account, Boss, BMW and Bungalow. The order of priorities varies from individual to individual. Whatever they are, it’s essentially confined to materialism or tangible assets. Love and marriage is traded like in the stock market or the choice is likened to the auction where the highest bidder merits the prize.


Going by the above there’s no basis for a long and enduring partnership in marriage. Physical attraction and materialistic assets soon fade with the passing years. The bond of love breaks loose from its weakest link and the link of Five Cs or Five Bs is not strong to begin with. Fragile link leads to fragile relationship. Human relationship is without a shadow of doubt the most fragile, in that it is complicated by emotion. A house that is not built upon strong foundation soon collapses. The fire of love cannot burn indefinitely or brightly without the right fuel of marriage.


They say that love makes the world go round. Spinning round and round makes you dizzy with headache setting in as you sail through rough waters. Material things can dwindle with time or disappear through misfortune or poor management. The meaning of things take on a different perspective too with the passage of time.For an enduring and lasting partnership, it calls for the right ingredients which are not provided for by the Five Cs or Five Bs. The greatest test of true love is through the test of time – what endures and what not.


The marriage vows spell out “for better or for worse”. Sadly enough, the latter means absolutely nothing. It’s all a question of money. Oftentimes, money problem breeds marriage problems. Many seemingly good marriages have collapsed under the weight of financial struggle. One wonders the whereabouts of love, fresh air and sunshine and all those rosy promises of getting the moon and the stars and dying for each other. Evidently, all the heartaches are spelt out in the court of law or the mediator’s office in terms of property settlement. All other considerations are thrown out of the window.


The bond of love is only secured through the commitment of one for the other through all kinds of weather, rain or shine, stormy or calm. Commitment will take care of the Five Cs or Five Bs. It seals the question of security, love, faith and hope – all vital ingredients that will withstand the test of time. Commitment takes care of the doom and gloom, war and peace, rain or shine, giving or taking, and unimaginable human problems. No more talk of complaints, criticism, or condemnation – all the negative ‘Cs’. Suffice to mention one good positive ”C” says it all for peace and harmony for always!


There are others, which you can ponder & discuss, such as being civil, content, considerate, comforting, consoling & compromising. To command & control will have to take back stage to avoid falling off the edge.

Try communicating & cooperating with each other

to chase all the blues away.

The picture of the divorce court is often one of ugliness

& the divorce lawyer is often portrayed in the middle

happily “milking the cow” with the husband & wife

pulling in opposing directions.


Say “Cheese” to bring on that smile for always!

Would you like to comment?

© Paul Chong



Change

Change (By Paul Chong)

To grow to progress is to change

Both health & wealth will be your gain.

flowers

Change, the keynote word of Obama, saw the transformation of him from obscurity to the stage of respectability. Change is inevitable as one journeys through life. People of courage are constantly looking for change. In most cases people change because of circumstances reflecting enforcement without the freedom of choice. Most people generally just drift along without exercising any self-will or control.

What is advocated is exactly the reverse . . . acting rather than reacting. A boat or ship that does not venture far from shore never gets anywhere. It just got to brave the waves and storm, for nothing ventured nothing gained. You’ve got to pay the price for things unforeseen when changes are made. Human beings have that innate fear of facing the unknown. Consequently, only the brave of hearts will tread in places where even angels fear. Hence, there are more followers than heroes.

Let not circumstances rule your life. Be prepared to take risks and take charge of the circumstances. Do whatever you can. Tackle all possibilities and leave the impossibilities to God. We say let go & let God. Here’s a small piece of poetic message with magnificent power & meaning:

As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God, because He was my friend.

But then, instead of leaving Him in peace, to work alone, I hung

around and tried to help, with ways that were my own.

Alas! I snatched them back and cried “How can you be so slow?”

“My child,” He said, “what could I do?”

YOU NEVER DID LET GO

God does endow us with gifts of courage, but sadly enough it’s one of those things that the average man lacks or afraid to pluck upon it. God won’t let you down. He’ll see you through.

Change is refreshing, kind of rejuvenating & exhilarating. It gives you a brand new prospective in life and sets you on the road to success. As captain of your ship you steer your way through the storm. New horizon zooms ahead as you strive for it.

Courage is that precious little ingredient that is necessary for change. Sentimentality must give way to progress. Likewise, there’s no room for inhibitions. Someone once said, “I’ll rather die on my feet than live on my knees.”

Change is an inevitable process with the passage of time. Nothing stands still. Everything is in a state of flux. Time changes things – here today gone tomorrow. This natural phenomenon happens with individuals, political leaders, countries, as with your status, power, wealth & influence. The mighty can fall – the weak can rise. The journey begins, the journey ends . . . savour the moments & happenings along the way, for the end is just the beginning of another stage or level. Such is the nature of things rendering it difficult for anyone to envisage the outcome. Be the change you wish to see in the world . . . Gandhi.

Since the lifting of the Bamboo Curtains, China has undergone tremendous changes. It is a dynamic country beyond all recognition – all in a matter of a short span of thirty years.

The question is what will the world be like in 5 or 50 years from now. Who can say? Your guess is as good as mine.

Paul Chong

A Chinese by Descent

An Australian by Consent