Love Is Best Defined By Kids!

By P Chong                                       Thurs. 27 May 2010

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Believe you me when I say that we adults can learn a lot from children in the things they say so naturally. Be amazed how wonderfully gifted they are with the kind of wisdom that is so lacking in grown-ups. For instance, love to the adult is a complicated emotion, but to an innocent child he has a way of defining it in simple words. Kids have a way of expressing themselves in the most natural & simplest of ways.

For the adults, their perceptions of love differ from individual to individual, all shaped & defined by such circumstances as birth & death, marriage & divorce, friendship, separation  among others.

When this question “What does love mean?” was posed to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, the answers obtained by a group of professionals were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. Below are some of the most astounding examples:

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” Rebecca – age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl – age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” Terri – age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss” Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen,” Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” Nikka – age 6

“There are two kinds of love. Our love. God’s love. But God makes both kinds of them.” Jenny – age 8

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle – age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Tommy – age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.  I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.  He was the only one doing that.  I wasn’t scared anymore,” Cindy – age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” Clare – age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine -age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” Chris – age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” Mary Ann – age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” Lauren – age 4

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen – age 7

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.” Mark – age 6

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget,” Jessica – age 8

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia was once judging a contest to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

Kids really know how to make you feel loved & capture every fibre of your emotion!

No parents taught them but they instinctively say the nicest things you can ever imagine! They say what comes naturally!! Nothing complex or complicated!!!

Watch Out! Being Old & Disabled

Watch Out!

Being Old & Disabled

mr_six_contest_smallStill Spirited & Energetic?

It’s said don’t grow old, but grow up. Yet from my own personal observation, this phenomenon is hardly the case. You would expect that after years of togetherness as a couple, each partner in the relationship would become more caring for each other. Relationship can mellow and sweeten with the years or contrarily sour for all you care! It would be sad to see the latter happening.

Modern relationship is so fragile. Long established ones are rare. Surprisingly, especially going by Hollywood’s mode, you’ll find a few exceptions like Ronald & Nancy Reagan – best known actors for a sustaining relationship. Even then there’s the tint of shadow in the form of Jane Wyman.

flu seasonOld & Miserable – “I see not, I hear not, I speak not”!

I know of a nice Singapore family with a son confined to the wheelchair, and more recently a doctor friend of mine with multiple-systems atrophy, both suffering from abandonment by their partners. These are two paraplegic examples only – one still in the prime years and the other in the golden years of life. It’s all a question of “for better” certainly not “for worse” as spelt out in the marriage vow.

Alas where do we find romance lasting till the end! The musical strains of tears and stress through the years have but all disappeared. People still love to hear of a romantic story of courage without fear, of love with all the tears, of sharing and caring with the years. But they are not happening in real life. “What about me?” rather than “What about we?” Gross individualism predominates in all situations these days . . . my own car, my bank account, my social life, my this and that. The list is unending with the divorce lawyer laughing all the way to the bank.

40-animals-tendernessTenderness & Togetherness – Human Can Learn from the Birds

Don’t human beings care any more? Are we so devoid of feelings and emotion in the face of materialism? Don’t we ever going to consider negative consequences resulting from the fall-out?

I am not an expert to provide you with solutions.

I just provide you with thought provoking questions.

Your comments are most welcome.

Paul Chong